If there was one thing that helped mentally prepare me for giving birth, it was reading other soon-to-be momma’s birth stories. Being a first time mother, I had no idea what to expect. There was a bit of piece-of-mind that came after reading each story and understanding how their deliveries went. While everyone’s experience is different, I hope that my story can at least help calm a soon-to-be momma preparing for her big day.
From the moment I found out I was pregnant, it had been drilled into my head that due dates are merely a “guess”. I read how most women don’t actually go into labor on their due date and to expect baby either before or after this given date. With those comments in mind, I treated my due date like any other normal day. That was mistake number one.
Friday, April 20th – My due date
9:00 pm: Over the course of the day, I had been experiencing lower back pains. I got up to take a hot shower in hopes that it would help elevate some of my pain. After stepping out of the tub, I noticed water trickling beneath me, forming a rather large puddle on the floor. At this moment, it didn’t cross my mind that my water may have broken. I simply thought the water was from the shower. That was mistake number two.
10:00 pm: Shortly after getting dressed, I began experiencing sharp/cramp-like pains in my lower abdomen. A wrote the pain off as “Braxton Hicks contractions”, because women don’t actually go into labor on their due date, right? I pushed through the pain and continued getting myself ready for bed.
10:30 pm: At this point, the pain had intensified and became more consistent. Wide-eyed, I looked over to TJ and uttered, “I think she’s coming..” We texted our parents, threw last minute items into our bags and quickly headed for the hospital.
Side note: TJ and I attended a labor and delivery class during my pregnancy. Throughout the course, the instructor repeatedly reminded everyone not to rush to the hospital once we believed our water had broke. We were taught to labor at home as long as possible until contractions came every 5 minutes, each lasting a full minute, and have been that way for an hour (the 5-1-1 rule). In addition, we were taught various birthing position, breathing techniques and the importance of having a birth plan. Thinking back, it’s funny how everything we were taught simply went out the window the moment labor began. Nothing, and I mean absolutely nothing that we learned during that 3-day course was applied in real life.
11:30 pm – 12:00 am – We checked into the hospital and the nurse began to examine my cervix. She confirmed that I was 3 cm dilated and 80% effaced. I explained how it was possible that my water broke after my shower. She performed a dye test with a swab which confirmed that a premature rupture of membranes had occurred. Smiling, she looked over at me and says, “Get ready, you’re having a baby“.
Saturday, April 20th
12:00 am – 10:00 am – As I labored though the morning, the pain from the contractions intensified. They became closer together and went from feeling mild/tolerable to nearly taking my breath away. I had TJ lead me to the bathroom several times so that I could vomit from the pain.
10:00 am – The doctor examines my cervix for progress. She confirmed that I was now 5 cm dilated and 90% effaced. With it being 12 hours since my membranes had ruptured, she explained that Pitocin was needed to help with the progression of labor. She explained that I would need to naturally deliver within 24 hours to avoid an infection and/or complications. Having very little knowledge of Pitocin and not knowing what to expect, I quickly agreed to it with hopes that I would be meeting my daughter soon. The nurse administered the first dose of Pitocin. Mistake number three.
10:30 am – As the Pitocin kicked in, the contractions intensified to a point where I could barely speak. They were about 1-2 minutes apart and brutal. As dramatic as this may sound, I honestly did not think I would make it through labor. The pain was that severe. The powerfulness of the Pitocin also began causing fetal distress on Nori as her heart rate dropped significantly. As the monitor began to alarm, my doctor and a team of nurses rushed into the room. I started to expect the worse. The doctor decided to discontinue the use of Pitocin and I resumed laboring on my own.
12:00 pm – After 12+ hours of labor, I decided it was time for the epidural. The anesthesiologist entered the room and began setting up. I’ve heard horror stories about women becoming paralyzed from the epidural needle puncturing their spine after they jumped ***. I had mentally prepared for this moment and had no plans to view the needle out of fear so that I wouldn’t jump or squirm out of fear. Despite not looking, I saw all that I needed to see when I looked up at TJ. His face said it all. With his eye’s wide and jaw dropped, I knew that he was looking at the needle. I held onto his shoulders and tried my best to tune out everyone in the room. I closed my eyes, took a deep breathe, and felt a rather large needle enter my lower back. The anesthesiologist informs me that his first attempt was not in the correct location and that he would have to try again. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me” is what I wanted to say, but I kept my head down and nodded my approval. I feel a second puncture to my back and within a matter of minutes, the excruciating pain that I once felt was gone. 100% gone.
12:30 pm – 2:00 pm – Following the epidural, my midwife explained that due to the numbing effect that it causes, they would need to roll my body onto it’s side every 15 minutes. Two nurses entered the room and began rolling me over to my left side. During those 15 minutes, the contractions were normal, baby was great, everything was beautiful. It wasn’t until the nurses rolled me onto my right side that everything began to change. With each contraction, Nori’s heart rate would drop. It would slightly raise once the contraction had ended, only to drop once again. Each time this would occur, a wave of medical staff would rush into my room to help level out her heart rate. The look of concern on their face truly scared the shit out of me. Once again – I began to expect the worst.
The doctor finally sat down with me and explained her concerns with Nori’s heart rate and labor not progressing as quickly as she hoped. She explained that I would be given one final hour to labor on my own before other options would be explored. By other options, I knew she meant a “cesarean section”. I had never given a c-section much thought while pregnant, but at that moment, I began to cry. I cried because I was scared. I cried because I thought I was going to lose my daughter. I cried at the thought of major surgery. Without needing to explain the reason for my tears, the doctor hugged me and reassured me that everything would be fine.
3:00 pm – An hour had passed and there were no signs of progression with my labor. Furthermore, Nori’s heart rate continued to drop. The doctor finally entered the room and informed me that they would begin preparing for the c-section. Everything from the point on moved so quickly that it’s all a blur. All I can remember was looking up at my mom as I was wheeled away to the operating room with tears flowing from my face. I couldn’t stop crying. More than anything, I just wanted her in the room with me to hold my hand through it all.
3:20 pm – I am laying in the cold operating room surrounded by a team of doctors, nurses, and various medical staff. I am given numbing medication, a stronger anesthetic, and a catheter. Once everything is in place, the doctor begins the incision. During the process, I could feel slight tugging, but zero pain. The only thing I could focus on was waiting to hear Nori’s cry. Nothing else mattered. I just wanted to hear her cry so that I could be reassured that she was okay.
I could see one of the medical staff leave to get TJ which meant that Nori was almost here. As he enters the room, someone exclaims, “She has so much hair!” The doctor does one final tug and alas, I hear screaming. My tears start flowing again.
3:30 pm – Nori arrived 7 lbs, 1 oz, 19 1/2 inches.
April 20th, 2019 – my life changed, forever.
Xo,
No Comments